Destiny, metaphysical Nigga-Ho

When Stephen Chang met Destiny he was not at all surprised. It had been a warm dark night and he had been busy social networking on his computer during most of it. He had booted his computer with terrific confidence, a glow of visceral happiness penetrating his abdomen, spine and brain. During the long hours of the night, in which he was too excited to even think about sleep, he had grown progressively more weary and depressed. He didn’t really have any awareness of the cause of this sudden change, he just felt like shit. He put ‘Suicide Life’ by Eels on repeat on his pc and got up from his seat. He came back with a black wooden box he had taken out of the medicine cabinet, as well as a bottle of whiskey. He took a strip of barbiturates, some Diazepam, some Vicodin and a broad array of colored pills he didn’t really know what they were. He swallowed the bunch with a couple of gulps of whiskey. He didn’t feel anything at first, but he soon started to feel terribly unnerved, as if someone was sneaking up to him. He looked down at the floor and he closed his eyes. A pang of pain hit him on his temples like a whip. The pain quickly subsided and when he looked back up there was someone standing right there in front of him. It was a rather large black woman. She had a weave in her hair and she wore a miniskirt and purple sneakers. She was chewing on something, a gum perhaps, and looked at Stephen Chang intently.

“Are you Death?”, Stephen Chang asked.

“Damn no nigga, I ain’t not death. Uh uh”, she said.
She stood chewing and tilted her head just slightly. Her moving mouth reminded him of an industrial washing machine. It was silent for a while.

“Who are you?”, he asked.

“Shit nigga, me is Destiny”, she told him.

He scratched his hair and got up from the chair. She backed away, as if he was going to hit her or harm her in some way. “Calm down”, he said, “I am Stephen Chang and I am currently committing suicide. Nice to meet you.”
She looked in no way surprised of shocked or she hid it rather well. In fact, she didn’t react at all. He offered his hand to shake, but she just looked at him stupidly. He opened his mouth to talk, but he decided against it. They were silent for another five minutes, the fat black woman and Stephen Chang. He finally broke through the silence.

“So are you like some kind of genie? Are you going to show me the errors in my life? Show me what life will be without me? What the world will come to? I mean, why are you here? In my house? At this hour?” He looked at her expectantly. She gave no answer.

“You are Destiny?”, he asked. At this she smiled.

“I am Destiny”, she told him. She took his hand and put it on her massive teat.

“Do you accept me?”, she asked.

“I don’t understand”, he said. She just shrugged and repeated her question. He looked into her eyes, but there was only emptiness. He couldn’t understand. He told her he did accept her.

"Shit, homey, finally. That be some crazy shit", she said.

She embraced him and he felt her body surround him like a soft gelatinous wave. His crotch got swollen and tears came to his eyes. She whispered something in his ear. He thought it had to be important but he couldn’t understand what she said. After this she left him and he woke up. He was sitting at his desk in the early morning light, his computer was still on. In front of him was the black box and the unopened bottle of whiskey.

“Well, that didn’t make any fucking sense at all”, he said. He went to bed and slept.