My Mindlesness book “The Egg of time” has
gotten the following positive review from an (otherwise very sceptical)
follower of THE DOCTRINE OF MINDLESNESS
EVANESCES REFUTATION IN KNOWLEDGE (DOMERIK). -Doktoor Frank D'hanis (Phdt).
“Through
the mystic and potentially harmful properties of sniffing Velpon patented extra
strong glue I met my inner Unicorn. Turns out his name is Bobby and he likes to
listen to old AC/DC records. He has a job working for the national Belgian post
office in The Hague, Holland and he has a twin daughter named Cassandra (just
the one). His hobbies are twisting reality and shooting C-list television
celebrities in the face. From the moment I first shouted at him in a very loud and
very rude manner in the “Den Nopri” supermarket
in Hamme back in 1978 it was obvious that our relationship would develop itself
into one of utter strapless portable bullshit. I discovered my inner unicorn
and all of a sudden I found myself surrounded by naked women and by the big success
that I had always been dreaming about. I also started up my business as a carrot
peddler of sort, and soon became very notorious for ramming infants in the eye
with young, still kind of greenish carrots. Mothers detested me, kids feared me
and nobody really liked me, and as I sat utterly psychotic and crazy on my tree
trunk I knew the truth: finally I had achieved happiness. YOU CAN ALSO VERY
EASILY ACHIEVE HAPPINESS AND I EVEN WILL VENTURE TO HELP YOU. I first
discovered sniffing glue as a byproduct of my studies in eastern languages. In
the Ayurvedic Veda’s it is already written.
“Mind the
egg of time, lolcatz, and crazy bitches will be yours. Be a horse, and all you
will eat is grass and oatmeal. But dare to be the Tassadar, and you will feast
on the simple rays of light of one thousand and twenty souls and you will
transmigrate to nice suburban neighbourhood with good schools and a pervert
free community school.”
And let us
continue with the writings of the Taoist Zhuangzi, in the chapter “under heaven”
about the famous logician Hui shi:
“惠施以此為大觀於天下而曉辯者，天下之辯者相與樂之。卵有毛”
Which is to be translated as (according to the scholar
James Legge).
“Hui Shi by such sayings as these made himself very conspicuous
throughout the kingdom, and was considered an able debater. All other debaters
vied with one another and delighted in similar exhibitions. (They would say),
'There are feathers in an egg.'”
Doesn’t
this mean that the egg of time itself considers time to be unimportant because
ALL is already contained in its divine presence? Doesn’t this mean we have to
reach into our own mailbox, to find the letters of the divine? Doesn’t this
mean that I am the unicorn and the unicorn is me?
Paradoxically,
however ancient these questions may be, once you answer them, you stumble back
into the very modern practices of mindfulness as thought by Doktoor Frank D’hanis
Esq, der Paraklet. Here are some very practical extracts from the Egg of time,
which will help you achieve that which shouldn’t be sought after very actively.
THE FIVE HINTS OF AZTEC-MAYAN PROPORTIONS.
1 1. When
tired, get some rest. You are a god, but even the lord Alfred Jahweh of bar “het
hoekske” had to rest at certain points in his existence.
2 2. When
you have to get wet anyway, why not turn it into a shower? If you have to take
a shit, take the opportunity to get to know your inner bowels, as well as your
outer ones.
3 3. Salt
is evil. Stay away from salt.
4 4. The
Oprah Winfrey book club may be a tad misguided at times, but if you’re looking
for a compelling read that will blow your mind, chances are there’s something
on her list that you will like. It is like this with all things in life. We have
to separate the practical from the emotional. For example: it’s not because you
don’t like Mussolini that you can’t adore his feathery hat. Live for the hat,
not for the bearer of the hat.
5 5. If
you ever visit Antwerp, look for Tom Barman. Burn down the Kathedraal,
het is toch een lelijk gebouw. And the stadsfeestzaal is pretty cosy, so check it out.
It is with
such seemingly self-evident practical wisdom that der Paraklet Prof. D’hanis
makes us reach for our inside animal and helps us to pull it out so that we can
use it where we need it. The “Egg of time” offers his full theoretical
weltanschauung, supplemented with all the practical wisdom that one needs in
the course of one’s life. This makes the book a must read, even if you are not yet a believer.
I leave you
with the prophet’s own words:
Toiru ni ikitai dakara
Jikan ga nai ga,
Sekusina
onna da,
To
omoimasu.
Over and
out. Review by T_Baneling_1995_T”
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